The Weird, the Wild, the Wonderful

Every year we dread that gift from that certain someone. You know the one: the person whose gifts reflect the fact that they know absolutely nothing about you, nor do they care to. I got a red, white and blue knitted beret from my grandmother one year. No joke. And no, my sister has never let me live it down, and yes, my parents made me wear it every time she came around. Torture.

Let’s take a look at some of the best (worst) gifts that were given around our offices this year. This ought to be fun:

A CD Chock-full of German Christmas Carols

christmas gifts

Outside of “Oh Tannenbaum” (which actually is German for ‘Christmas tree’), I’m gonna go with yeah… nobody knew what was going on here.

The ratings:
• Sheer delight from the lawyer in our office who speaks fluent German
• Overcome with love by the people who thought it was tear-jerkingly hilarious that someone would give a CD of German Christmas carols
• Not too happy from the poor intern that actually received it

The Creepy Clown

the weirdest christmas gifts

Pssst… hey you… the person deathly afraid of clowns… we got you the perfect Secret Santa gift. Yup, you guessed it… a clown. What in the world?!

The ratings:
• A few chuckles when the orange hair came peeking through the wrapping paper from some of our staff who knew the recipient’s unfathomable fear of all things clown
• Zero people seemed to be overcome with love for the fact that…
• …our accountant went into a panic attack (please take note of the highest-rated “complete disappointment” scale in this post)

The Platinum Peacock

the weirdest christmas gifts

So this happened. I mean, what exactly do you do with something like this? Put it in your garden to scare away squirrels? Who was in the dollar store and thought, “OMG! Linda will love this?

The ratings:
• The majority of us laughed simply because of what we like to call the “REALLY?” factor.
• Believe it or not, Linda went bananas over this gift. She absolutely loved it. Either she’s a really great actress, or she’s nuts. We still aren’t sure.
• The one weird kid from inventory seemed a little upset he didn’t get the peacock. Did I mention that he’s weird? I did, right?

Ahab the Bookend

the weirdest christmas gifts

See, this one ranked up there. Close to the top. Only problem was, one bookend does not a “set” of bookends make. Unless you’re pushing your books against a wall (which, of course, is entirely possible), this little guy is missing his buddy somewhere. Maybe he’s lost at sea? If he is, this chubby little captain doesn’t seem all that upset about it.

The ratings:
• People were generally very intrigued by the captain. There was some heated bartering going on.
• Steve, our IT guy, did whatever it took to take this one home (I believe he traded in a few vacation days). He said it reminded him of his ol’ Uncle Abraham.
• The two girls in Client Services seemed particularly upset that neither of them were able to take, what I must say (believe it or not), was the coolest gift of the night.

The USB, Mouse-controlled Rocket Launcher

the weirdest christmas gifts

Outside of the bookend, this was the most sought after gift of the night. No matter who you are—young or old, male or female—there’s just something very alluring about shooting stuff at people. Admit it, because it’s true.

The ratings:
• Everybody was really into this one. I have a feeling there are some serious scores that need to be settled in our office with the way people were ogling this bad boy.
• No one loved the fact that…
• …our SEO girl Sarah got hit right smack in the cornea with a toy missile and had to be taken to the emergency room. That wasn’t cool. Sarah has to wear an eye patch for three weeks now, but please don’t mention it. She’s very sensitive about it.

What terrible, funny, ridiculous or wild gifts did YOU get or give this holiday season? We sure would love to hear about them—after all, misery loves company. Please comment below or send us an email at

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