Are you ready for the Lonely-Hearts Club? You don’t need a members’ card — you can step right in. As long as you’ve emerged as a single beast from the urban relationship jungle, that is.
What’s Singles’ Day anyway?
Singles’ Day became has advanced into the biggest Lonely-Hearts celebration the world has ever known. Coincidentally, celebrating singlehood goes hand in hand with the biggest shopping period of the year. In the run-up to Christmas and Thanksgiving, it all seems to be about finding the right gift for your loved-ones, and especially for your partner. But where does that leave the single? We’re giving a voice to the singles from our editorial room right here.
The big supermarket love
(Charlotte, 45, single since online shopping)
“Where did you two meet?” This question will certainly come up when you tell friends about your new date. I wish the answer was as easy as “at the supermarket”! My imagination runs wild when I think of super romantic grocery-store encounters. You both reach for the last bottle of laundry detergent, your hands reaching out like nimble fingers in a Michelangelo painting, and then… touch. It’s like a date set up by a higher power that wants you to meet under the neon lights in a shopping aisle stuffed with retirees clinging on to shopping carts as they manoeuvre their way to the checkout. As our fingers touch in the most romantic of settings, we look at each other and ask ourselves the same question without opening our mouths, “Is he/she single as well?” Tragically, we’re too shy to ask as we steal a glance for wedding rings on fingers that hastily retreat from the bottle of detergent. If only we had a custom shopping bag that delivered the message, for example like this one.
Putting the SING in single
(Ralf, 36, singing single since 1989)
Being single is more than a state – it’s a development! It starts with getting over the last relationship while having to wade and wallow through all those painful seven stages of grief. Then there are desperate times of trying to find a new partner who’s so much smarter, better looking and more honest than the last one. Not easy! And while you’re going through all of this, you’re laboriously treading the stony path of self-discovery. But there’s one thing you can do to feel better: sing! Here’s the ultimate singles’ top seven playlist that will always improve your mood – guaranteed!
1. Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
2. Christina Aguilera – Beautiful
3. Beyoncé – Run the World (Girls)
3. Katy Perry – Roar
4. Jason Derulo – Ridin’ Solo
5. Spice Girls – Wannabe
6. Cyndi Lauper – Girls Just Want to Have Fun
7. Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry, Be Happy
Becoming a cat lady
(Jasmin, 32, single since 2016, still cat-less)
It helps to think you’re not alone among hundreds of millions of singles out there. My sweetheart must be somewhere out there longing for me just the way I long for him, right? If only I knew how to make him aware of the fact that we were meant to be together – and not apart – there would be no reason for me to write this article, and I could concentrate on hatching amorous plans for Valentine’s Day. Will getting a cat make me more complete? Or will a single cat in my household feel just as alone? I thinks it’s time to proudly join the Lonely Cats’ Club and wear this custom singles’ shirt with pride.
Being single in times of Corona
(Alexandra, 38 years old, single since quarantine)
We can probably all agree that 2020 poses a challenge for us in many other ways than seeking a member of a monogamous relationship with your sweet self. The perks of single life – remember dancing until the wee hours of the morning (?!) – have evaded us single beasts of the night for way too long, and listening to I Wanna Dance with Somebody doesn’t really make it better. And as we get bored, install dating apps and start swooshing mostly to the left and sometimes to the right, there’s this annoying thought of Covid and its 19 pernicious influences that throw a spanner in the works. No need having to explain yourself, though, wear a perfectly customized hoodie for your profile picture on ALL the dating apps. It will give you an edge and set you apart from the many other faces to scroll by. And why not treat yourself to everything you want from your future partner right now?!
How are you celebrating Singles’ Day 2020? Let us know in the comments!